How was your Christmas?
I managed to contract a nasty virus and then a bacterial chest infection which had me in bed from Christmas until the 2nd of January . Luckily I keep my expectations of the holidays very low but even so, I would have preferred to, you know- not. New Years day we had a Home visit from a Doctor who gave us antibiotics. Never let it be said we don’t know how to rock New Years!
Being the perpetual Pollyanna I did find some good in the illness:
- Being so sick meant the monkey mind chatter was quieted, I was too wasted to think.
- It was when all the businesses were closed so I wasn’t under pressure to work or be productive which is lucky because it was not going to happen.
- I had no appetite and lived off one protein smoothie a day with some watered down juice mixed with greens powder ( weirdly I could not eat anything savoury), if I hadn’t been breastfeeding it probably would have been water only. This made my transition back to a mostly grain free diet much easier as I couldn’t eat any of the stuff I was cutting out. My joint pain and depressive attacks are gone at present as a result
- I lost 3kg. Well, I lost some excess weight. My scales are a bit dodge.
So I did start my new year with green powders and smoothies and weight loss and killing that nasty bacterial infection certainly must class as a detox, right?
But it wasn’t my intention.
I have had so much trouble setting an intention for the year.
I have seen a lot of women setting their intentions and it seems to be a year for empowering yourself and saying yes to more, to kicking of the shackles of other people’s expectations and embracing fun and adventure.
To saying yes to exercise for enjoyment, nourishing food because it feels good and having more fun with the family.
This is simply awesome.
I found my intention today when my hear sank as I looked a picture of myself. I felt fabulous, my son and husband told me I looked beautiful (“Outstanding, in fact” is what my son said) but the old programming kicked in “Gross” I thought. “You look revolting, people don’t want to see that.”
Let me be clear, I would never think that about other people, much less say it, I think there are many gorgeous plus sized women but I struggle with accepting extra weight on me. A lot.
I won’t let this happen any more. I won’t think “If only I was back to my pre-baby weight or if only my thighs were smaller I would look OK.”
I will wear a bikini in public, I will exercise in tight active wear and I will not apologetically cover up and self censor in case I offend someone with my physical appearance. (Who cares what someone who is offended by the existence of fat people thinks anyway? It occurs to me the opinions of such people don’t matter at all.)
It’s time to shut up the inner troll for once and for all. That’s what I want for the year.
Expect more pics of me and more body positive posts!
What are your intentions for 2016?