The Thing That is Worse than Being Fat, Gay or Ugly.

I see this every morning when I wake.

It has become my mantra.

It simplifies things for me.

When people are criticised for their appearance or their financial situation or their mental health or their sexuality I want them to read this.

I was brought up to believe that fat people were lacking. That people were inviting criticism, that fat people shouldn’t be eating, that if someone was a bad person AND they were overweight it was appropriate to call them fat as part of mentioning they were nasty or horrible or rude.

Nowadays we have people accusing anyone who doesn’t criticise fatness as “encouraging obesity”.

Totally ignores the fact that fatness in and of itself is simply adipose tissue. It doesn’t mean you are lazy, unhealthy or are putting a strain on the health care system. Interestingly enough I don’t hear much of the anti-fat brigade riling against smokers or problem drinkers or rugby players or cross fitters who are making lifestyle choices that also put a strain on the health care system. This is just about people with fat under their skin. (That being said if your weight makes you feel physically uncomfortable and you want to lose fat for you- you do that thing- for yourself)

You know what’s worse than being fat? Being rude, being judgmental, making assumptions about people based on their appearance and having the gall to voice them when no-one has asked.

The same sort of people feel the need to comment on people’s sexuality which I can’t see as being any of their business unless they are planning to have sex with them.

Rude people of the world, it is a far worse thing to be a snarky, negative, judgemental vacuum of everything that is good in this world than it is being a fat woman in a mini-skirt , an old woman comfortable in her sexuality, a spotty person or one who doesn’t conform to your narrow, boring ideal of beauty (which seem to be mostly about cosmetics and other things you can buy).

It is not up to other people to change their appearance or weight or sexuality so that your tiny closed mind doesn’t feel challenged. It is not up to other people to conform to your religion which has nothing to do with them and in fact espouses their behaviour as evil.

Having more bodyfat does not make you a bad person.

Being gay does not make you a bad person.

Looking different does not make you a bad person.

Suffering a mental illness does not make you a bad person.

Being a single parent does not make you a bad person.

Being rich doesn’t make you a bad person.

Being poor or unemployed doesn’t make you a bad person.

Being a dick makes you a bad person.

You are the only person who can stop you being a dick.

Stay vigilant.

Teach your children this.

Don’t be a dick.


If you like this hoop (and let’s face it, it is brilliant) you can find it and it’s friends at Cate Bolt’s shop Pretty Fkn Embroidery or if you want to have something equally wonderful but not as sweary you should go to Cabo Pickles the shop that supports an orphanage and you can buy personalised Christmas stockings and I am not even shitting you.


  1. Kim-Marie from Kimba Likes says:

    I have this exact piece on my family photo wall, right above a framed print saying Love Lives Here with our wedding date, and next to family photos.

    It’s my life motto and now that my son is 11, I’m teaching it to him too.

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