Confessions of a beauty Klutz

Jessie looking over her glasses with "confessions of a beauty klutz" written in white

I am going along to Problogger event this week.

Soon I will see many people I only know online in real life and then the truth will be out.

I am a beauty klutz.

I am simply not very good at grooming.

I tried not to be, in my earlier days, pre-parenthood. I tried in the way that only a teen/young adult of what I like to call “the real Triple J Generation” tries to be competent with beauty, there was the white blonde bob and UV reactive makeup with glitter for warehouse parties, giant retro sunglasses for the next day. The poorly chosen, badly dyed black hair and heavyset eyeliner that accompanied my dark, angry period (although truth be told, I think every period I ever had was dark and angry… geddit?… it was a menstruation joke…) But I never really got the hang of any makeup style. Truth be told it isn’t very interesting to me. I don’t have a great enthusiasm for the whole thing.

Then there is my outrageously sensitive skin which itches and flares at the slightest provocation. most face creams are out and deodorants that actually stop the smell give me outrageously itchy axilla. That’s armpits sounding fancy. My armpits and face don’t like to be fancy.

After spending a small fortune trying to find the ultimate skin care solutions with no parabens, petrochemicals, scents and who knows what else (don’t get me started on aluminium in antiperspirants- no idea of legitimacy of any health claims against aluminium, the itching of antiperspirants gets me steer clear!) I have found what works for me, well, at least for now.

Oil is my friend, I like to oil cleanse but realistically I just use a very mild natural foaming cleanser from the supermarket and an oil blend I made myself from fractionated coconut oil, a vitamin e oil, rosehip oil, frankincense, geranium and lavender essential oils. OK, that might be a little bit fancy. It smells and feels really good and my skin doesn’t break out, itch or dry out when I use it so that is really what I am pleased about. So my face oil is fancy (ish) but my armpits are not. I use bottled lemon juice in a spray pack.

No shit. Just cheap bottled lemon juice from the supermarket.

It works better than any hippy deodorant I have used and unlike things with bicarb in it it doesn’t stain or itch. I also don’t smell bad. ALSO IT IS REALLY CHEAP.

A bonus of not being able to use them, or not caring about beauty type things is the freedom of looking for, buying and then perfecting the technique of using ALL THOSE PRODUCTS. I can do better things with my time like write a blog post about it. Yeah. “Better things”.

Another bonus is that when I wash my hair, use some bb cream and smear on a bit of red lippy it makes a much bigger impact because no-one expects it. Talk about getting my value!

Are you a beauty klutz? Do you just not care about such things, or perhaps you think you can convert me to the temple of beauty type things? Maybe you have some great beauty-fail memories?